A Mother's Love

We've all heard the term a mother's love is the strongest love of all and a mother loves her child unconditionally.

I would agree that I love my daughter unconditionally and as mom and daughter we have the strongest bond (especially since I'm her primary caregiver). but does that mean that dads do not love their kids unconditionally?

I sometimes wonder if sometimes we are not being a little unfair to dads when we assume that just because we are the mom, we automatically get the right to say we love our child more.

In my case, I'm more patient, more affectionate, more touchy feely toward Katelyn than my husband - that's my personality. I feel I have a stronger bond with her because of the amount of time we spend together and because she is really apart of me. But I cannot say with certainty that I love her more than he does. We just display our love in different ways.

I think sometimes as first time moms we get caught up in little statements we've been hearing over the years and other stereotypes in the media. It does not diminish our love and our bond for our child even if we admit that other caregivers whether it's dad or grandparents love our child just as much as we do.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this posts, even if you disagree

Happy Bonding!
-Claire
www.lifewithababy.com

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Attachement Parenting

Are you an attached parent? What do you think of the name of this parenting style "attachment parenting". What is attachement parenting? A lot people are confused about what it means to practice attachement parenting.

I've met new moms who think that to practice attachement parenting is to have your child attached strongly to one parent and now one else.

Fact: Attachment parenting involves having the child attached to one or more caregivers so that they are provided with a safe, loving and secure environment. I myself practise "attachement parenting" I didn't know that there was label for this until I was asked. " do you practise attachment parenting?"

I did what most moms do without realizing there was a label for this -

• I slept with my baby for the first 4 months
• She was held constantly, also b/c she didn't like to be put down
• after the initial 4 months, I took my baby to bed with me, when she wouldn't sleep in her crib
• I attended to her when she cried or was upset
• I wore her in a carrier (actually still do when she will let me and she's 2)
• nursed ( this one begs the question, are you not attached b/c you were not able to nurse)

So when I was asked If I practice attachement parenting, I said yes without even thinking about the label, aren't all parents attached to their kids?

But lately, someone asked "but, I thought you practised attachment parenting" this in response to me going away on vacation without my two year old and I did sleep training when she was 19 months old.

My answer is yes, I very much practise "attachment parenting", but I do not want my daughter to be attached to just me. I want her to be very attached to her dad and grand parents as well other family members

So in a sense, my idea of attachement parenting is getting my child attached to other people not just myself, so that in the event that I am not around, her environment will still be loving, safe, familiar and secure. So she spends a lot of bonding time with just dad, and she also spends bonding time with just grand-parents.

The fact is attachment parenting does not mean that you get your child stuck to your person and never leave their side. It does not mean that you have to co-sleep, it does not mean that you have to wear them in a sling! These are great if it's something you and your baby enjoys, but it's not a requirement to call yourself an attached parent.

Now the issue of sleep, as a parent, you know your child and you know if there are being affected by lack of sleep. So if you choose to sleep train your child (after 6 months of age) for the benefit of your baby, yourself and your family. Does this make any less attached to your child?

There is a lot of information including the definition of attachment parenting and the philosophy on the following sites:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting

http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bparentstyle/0,,489j,00.html

I would love to hear comments about this posting. Agree or disagree - What is your perspective on this?

Claire
www.lifewithababy.com

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Cleansing when done right is beneficial

A year ago I did a cleanse from Forever Living and felt absolutely great! I had more energy, my skin was fabulous and I lost a inches from all over my body. When done right a cleanse can be very beneficial, but I never say to someone... you should do a cleanse to loose weight. Cleansing is about more than loosing weight. It's about removing toxins from your body and trying to attain health and wellness.

Once you decide to do a cleanse, you should try to change your lifestyle so that you are living a healthier life.

I really think that people who do very strict cleanses to try and loose weight and then go back to putting junk into their systems are doing their body more harm than good.
Me after my cleanse

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Never Say Never - Let's talk about sleep!

First posted on www.lifewithababy.com

When I had my daughter, I discussed with my husband some of the things we would never ever do, for me, it was : I will never let my little princess "cry it out". For 19 months, we stuck to that decision, if she cried one of us would go in and comfort her, but this weeks we had to let her "cry it out". At 19 months, toddlers have already started testing the rules and limitations that we set, that is what Katelyn was doing, she started waking up in the middle of the night, she started refusing to go to sleep at bedtime, for two weeks we tried everything, we took her from the crib b/c we thought she started hating her crib, we let her sleep with us, b/c we wanted her to get her rest, but when she had a tantrum at 4am and nothing would soothe her, we realized she was overtired and none of the solutions we were trying worked... we discussed, should we let her cry? We decided we would, the first night we gave up after five minutes, we felt too guilty about it, the following day Katelyn was so over tired she was having tantrums about everything, she wouldn't eat properly, she was a completely different child from the one we knew... that night we decided we had to stick to the plan of letting her cry for a bit and then going to sleep... she cried for about 10 minutes (it wasn't a "I'm hurt or I'm in pain cry") it was her I'm really tired cry, I started going up the stairs about five minutes into her crying and when she heard me coming up she stopped crying, so I started back down again and she started crying again, at one point she stopped crying to listen if we were still there and then started crying again - it was at that point that I realized she was just crying so that we would come in and get her.

Our choice was, do we try to make her feel better at this moment, but she will still not sleep and still be overtired tomorrow or do we let her cry for a bit, go to sleep and then be rested tomorrow. We decided it was better for her health if she went to sleep and got a good night rest and it worked.

The first night she cried for 30 minutes (which was heart breaking for us, mostly b/c we felt bad about it, will this affect her emotionally, (From what I've been told by her doctor and York Region Public Health - it will not affect her b/c we are not neglecting her - we followed the guide in the "Secrets of the baby whisperer". She slept 12 hours, which is her usual amount of sleep before the change in schedule.

The second night she cried for 10 minutes ( we already saw the huge improvement in her mood, her eating and her ability to enjoy her toys again from just one night of rest, we didn't feel guilty anymore), she slept 12 hours

The third night she cried less than two minutes

Last night she didn't cry at all.

So now, I saying "never say never"... For us, we could see that our daughter was over tired, we could see that she needed to sleep and even though it broke our hearts to do it, we had to think about what is best for her in the long run and we had do something we didn't feel good about, but that is a part of parenting, sometimes we have to make the right decision, even if it doesn't fit into our picture of what we would or wouldn't do.

If you are having issues regarding sleep, and you would like more information on a variety of solutions, send us an email at info@lifewithababy.com and we will forward you some resources.

What have you said you would never do and then decided to do afterwards, share your stories whether it be letting them watch TV, letting them cry it out, putting them in daycare, using a pacifier, letting them suck their finger, co-sleeping, etc.

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Transitioning to Parenting

Are you having difficulty transitioning to parenting? Do you feel like you are alone and have little or no support? Well, the truth is you are not alone, in fact most new parents feel this way and luckily there are many programs and services in place to ease the transition to parenting. While telephone counseling and online support such as www.lifewithababy.com website is useful. It is also extremely important to get out and socialize with other moms. You will find that there is always someone there that relates to you and your situation, not only that, getting out and meeting new friends for yourself has a therapeutic effect and you will find that you feel much better than if you isolate yourself and stay indoors all day.

Below are some important numbers that you can call if you feel overwhelmed.

Sick Kids Hospital – Telephone Counseling Motherisk
The risk and safety of treatment v.s non-treatment
Call: 416-813-6780Available : Mon to Fri, 9 am To 5 p.m.

310-COPE - Crisis Line - York Region
When you feel overwhelmed and need don’t know where to turn
Available : 24hrs

York Region Health Connection 1-800-361-5653 – Public health nurses
Available 8:30am to 4:30pm, Monday to Friday

Life With A Baby - Mom to Mom
416-833-3860
connect with other moms in your area to talk. When all you want is for someone to listen.

Toronto Public Health 416-338-7600 – Public Health nurses

Links and Online Resources

www.lifewithababy.com
www.motherisk.org
www.von.ca
Good Beginnings Program: If your baby is below 6 months old, you may be able to have someone come in once a week for a few hours to help you. I know many moms who have benefited tremendously from this service.

We’ll be updating this list each week. If you know a number for support in your area, please let us know

On behalf of www.LifeWithABaby.com

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Tips for travelling to the Caribbean with a baby

First Posted on www.lifewithababy.com
Posted on 6 February 2009 at 15:08:13 by

Are you planning to travel with your baby? Is so, let start at the beginning? You will need to get a passport for your little one. If you have not already done so, you can download an application form at http://www.ppt.gc.ca/cdn/form.aspx?lang=eng&region=Canada , or go to your nearest passport office.

First Aid Kit: One of the most important things you will need is your First Aid Kit, and it should include:
Pedialyte, in case of diarrhea and dehydration
Advil, or other pain/fever medication, whichever one your pediatrician recommends
Benadryl for allergies
Itch cream for insect bites
Thermometer – you will want to be able to do an accurate temperature check in the event your baby gets sick.
Proper medicine dropper, never estimate the amount of medication
If you use natural/homeopathic medicines, you can bring activated charcoal for relief of diarrhea for the whole family (check with your naturopath)

What to bring for a 7 day vacation in the sun

Bathing suit, that’s a given, but to reduce sun exposure, you can bring full body bathing suits that provide UVA/UVB protection

Life Jacket, if you’ve given your baby swimming lessons and you plan to put your baby in the ocean you should put a life jacket on them. You’re probably thinking why would I need a life jacket? I will be holding my baby… well let’s face it, accidents happen and if for some reason your toddler wiggled out of your hand, at least the life jacket will keep your baby above the water

UVA/UVB mosquito net and sun protection, it is HOT in Mexico, this screen is great for keeping the sun out of the face with the benefit of sun protection. When I was there a lot of moms asked me where I got it and which they had bought one. I got mine at Wal-Mart, but they are sold at sears, Dearborn, the safety superstore.

Stroller, one of the best things you can do for yourself and your baby is to bring your stroller. At the airport you can bring it right to the door of the plane and the attendants will put it on the plane after you have boarded. While you are on your vacation, your baby will be able to sleep on the beach, while you lay on a sun bed, or just while you are walking around the resort. My daughter slept a lot while we were in Mexico, I am glad I had the stroller with me, because she slept in the restaurant, at the beach, at the lobby bar… if I didn’t have my stroller I would have had to either hold her in my hand for two hours or I would have been confined to the room every time she wanted to sleep.

Extra Diapers, Let’s face it, you are taking your baby to a different environment and no one can predict how they will react to the food, so I recommend you bring extra diapers in case they have extra bowel movements that normal.

Food from home, Bring a few days worth of food for your baby/toddler, your baby may not like the food, so it’s a good idea to have food that he/she would normally eat. Check out the restaurants on arrival and plan your baby’s meals ahead of time.

Sunscreen, choose sunscreen that is low in chemicals such as “Earth’s Best” and “California baby “ brands

Get Medical Insurance – If for nothing other than peace of mind, you should definitely get medical insurance, if your child gets sick, you don’t want cost to be a factor in whether or not you call the doctor.

Remember this is your vacation, you are going to relax, so do some of these simple things ahead of time so that you don’t have too much to think about when you arrive. Just relax and enjoy paradise!

If you have any tips for travelling with a baby, please share them with us at www.lifewithababy.com

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It's 2:47am, and I'm still awake

I am really tired, but I can't sleep... why? Well, because I'm a bubble head who had coffee at 10pm. Every Thursday night is my girls night out and usually I go for dinner or a movie with my friends. Today however, I had a lot of work to do and didn't get it all done in time for dinner or a movie so I decided to go out with my friend to Second cup. On my way there, I told myself I was going to have herbal tea... but I walked in, looked up at the menu and decided on a medium vanilla bean latte AND chocolate brownie cheesecake - Yikes.

I got home at 11, took a nice long shower and got into bed... 11:30 I was still not asleep, I started thinking of all the things I didn't get done, things I have to do tomorrow and became even more awake. 12am - I'm still awake so I decide to read a book to calm myself and try to fall asleep - I couldn't concentrate on the book because my mind kept going over the things that didn't get done and tomorrow is Friday, so if I want to be able to have a calm weekend with Denys and Katelyn I have to do it ALL tomorrow. I know I will not be able to do it all on Friday (which is actually today - now), so I decided to do some a few things - since I'm awake anyways... so I managed to get most of things that don't require making too much noise done (because the last thing I want to do is wake up Katelyn)

Hopefully now I will be able to go upstairs and get some sleep - and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Katelyn won't wake up until atleast 7am.

The moral to the story - don't drink coffee at in the evening...

Why is it that when I'm really, really tired and had an exhausting day that I can't fall asleep?

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