A Mother's Love

We've all heard the term a mother's love is the strongest love of all and a mother loves her child unconditionally.

I would agree that I love my daughter unconditionally and as mom and daughter we have the strongest bond (especially since I'm her primary caregiver). but does that mean that dads do not love their kids unconditionally?

I sometimes wonder if sometimes we are not being a little unfair to dads when we assume that just because we are the mom, we automatically get the right to say we love our child more.

In my case, I'm more patient, more affectionate, more touchy feely toward Katelyn than my husband - that's my personality. I feel I have a stronger bond with her because of the amount of time we spend together and because she is really apart of me. But I cannot say with certainty that I love her more than he does. We just display our love in different ways.

I think sometimes as first time moms we get caught up in little statements we've been hearing over the years and other stereotypes in the media. It does not diminish our love and our bond for our child even if we admit that other caregivers whether it's dad or grandparents love our child just as much as we do.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this posts, even if you disagree

Happy Bonding!
-Claire
www.lifewithababy.com

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Attachement Parenting

Are you an attached parent? What do you think of the name of this parenting style "attachment parenting". What is attachement parenting? A lot people are confused about what it means to practice attachement parenting.

I've met new moms who think that to practice attachement parenting is to have your child attached strongly to one parent and now one else.

Fact: Attachment parenting involves having the child attached to one or more caregivers so that they are provided with a safe, loving and secure environment. I myself practise "attachement parenting" I didn't know that there was label for this until I was asked. " do you practise attachment parenting?"

I did what most moms do without realizing there was a label for this -

• I slept with my baby for the first 4 months
• She was held constantly, also b/c she didn't like to be put down
• after the initial 4 months, I took my baby to bed with me, when she wouldn't sleep in her crib
• I attended to her when she cried or was upset
• I wore her in a carrier (actually still do when she will let me and she's 2)
• nursed ( this one begs the question, are you not attached b/c you were not able to nurse)

So when I was asked If I practice attachement parenting, I said yes without even thinking about the label, aren't all parents attached to their kids?

But lately, someone asked "but, I thought you practised attachment parenting" this in response to me going away on vacation without my two year old and I did sleep training when she was 19 months old.

My answer is yes, I very much practise "attachment parenting", but I do not want my daughter to be attached to just me. I want her to be very attached to her dad and grand parents as well other family members

So in a sense, my idea of attachement parenting is getting my child attached to other people not just myself, so that in the event that I am not around, her environment will still be loving, safe, familiar and secure. So she spends a lot of bonding time with just dad, and she also spends bonding time with just grand-parents.

The fact is attachment parenting does not mean that you get your child stuck to your person and never leave their side. It does not mean that you have to co-sleep, it does not mean that you have to wear them in a sling! These are great if it's something you and your baby enjoys, but it's not a requirement to call yourself an attached parent.

Now the issue of sleep, as a parent, you know your child and you know if there are being affected by lack of sleep. So if you choose to sleep train your child (after 6 months of age) for the benefit of your baby, yourself and your family. Does this make any less attached to your child?

There is a lot of information including the definition of attachment parenting and the philosophy on the following sites:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting

http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bparentstyle/0,,489j,00.html

I would love to hear comments about this posting. Agree or disagree - What is your perspective on this?

Claire
www.lifewithababy.com

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